NOTE: This post is a departure from our usual satire, and covers a real, breaking news event.

Courtesty Twitter user @thetbone41: “no more flames, but looks like plenty of damage”

DCFD reports that Webb Elementary School is on fire, and our man on the scene confirms DCFD is battling an active two-alarm fire with heavy smoke on the first floor.

UPDATE: the fire appears to be pretty heavy, and the firefighters’ union reports DCFD is setting up multiple large hose lines (seen in the 3rd photo below) and is preparing for exterior ladder pipes to help battle this blaze.

UPDATE: After posting the below photos, a local resident retweeted the link & ANC 5b08 Commissionar Laskaris insightfully noted that the photos are “photos of police cars”. We have no word as to whether or not the ANC has been successful in answering residents’ pleas to have the DC government secure the building properly.  Some residents have practically begged for information on the site and raised concerns for many months over potential security issues.  The school is located in ANC5B07, represented by Commissioner Hooper.

UPDATE: ANC5B08 Commissioner Laskaris reports that Bladensburg Rd is now closed near Denny’s to accommodate another fire engine working the fire, requiring hoses run from Bladensburg Rd.

UPDATE: The firefighters’ union (IAFF Local 36) reports that the visible fire is out, only 45 minutes or so after the alarm first sounded.  Firefighters continue to work on hot spots, but thanks to the brave firefighters for their hard work in taking care of this very dangerous situation.

UPDATE: Twitter user @thetbone41 corroborates that the visible fire is out, and sent the totally sweet photo (as sweet as it can be, given the bad news) at the top of the post.